so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
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I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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