Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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