Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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