Where are you?
In a non slutty way
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
