the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize