ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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