What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
