69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
