She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
