but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
