im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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