While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
