Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
