U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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