you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize