He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
