Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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