Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
