I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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