Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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