What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
