Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
