No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
