It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
