Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
