im holly from the hills drunk
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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