I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
