my shit smells like andre
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
