And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
