I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
