WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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