What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
