I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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