you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
