I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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