Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
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