We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
