Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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