I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
