I wannas sexs uuuuu
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize