i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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