hotel room ftw
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
