my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
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