she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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