Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You pole danced in your parka.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
