Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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