It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
