I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
