An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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