Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Damn victory sex feels great
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