I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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