Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
