He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
