It's Friday. Sex?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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