Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
