Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
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I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
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I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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