A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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