I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
