Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
All the doctor said was why
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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