I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
