bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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