I'm really into asian looking animals
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
