U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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