you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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