What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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