I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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