spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
