I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
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I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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